Q:
Social tips for rednecks
IN GENERAL
1. Never take a beer to an interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude
to drive a U-haul to the funeral.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is
loaded and the deer is in sight.
2 When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest
tires does not always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is
impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession
DINING OUT
1. When decanting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper
cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
hands.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
manners are.
PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done
in private using one's own truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's jewelry, and alter the taste of finger foods.
DATING (OUTSIDE THE FAMILY)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first
date.
2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting
to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls
two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will
say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday," If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
MOVIE THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up
immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have
proven that they can't hear you.
WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund
and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this
special occasion.
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
LOL, A group of friends and I were talking about the war right after it started. (Bare in mind I'm from NC) Our concesus from the start was 5 rednecks, all the ammo and weaponry we can carry (preferably shotguns and couple 303's) and the war would be over in about a week or so depending on the number of drunken bonfire parties we have along the way.
______________________________________________________________________________
77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
The Official Redneck Dictionary
Of Computer Terms
* BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
* BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern.
* BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick.
* BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro; or Whut them dang flys do.
* CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps.
* CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
* CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
* DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers.
* DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer.
* DOT MARTIX - Ol Dan Matrix's wife.
* DOWNLOAD - Gettin the farwood off the truck.
* ENTER - Northern fer "c'mon in ya'll.
* FAX - What you lie about to the IRS.
* FLOPPY DISK - Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood.
* HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
* HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
* HARD DRIVE -Gettin home in the winter time.
* INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
* KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
* LAP TOP - Where the kitty sleeps.
* LOG OFF - Don't add no more wood.
* LOG ON - Makin the woodstove hotter.
* MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
* MAIN FRAME - Holds up the barn ruf.
* MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers; or when yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded.
* MICRO CHIP - Whuts left in the munchie bag.
* MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall.
* MONITOR - Keepin an eye on that woodstove.
* MOUSE - What eats the grain in the barn.
* MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
* NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line.
* ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test.
* PORT - Fancy Flatlander wine.
* PROMPT - Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
* RAM - My cousin Billy-Bob's pick'em up truck.
* RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY - When ya cain't member whut ya paid foe new rifle when yore wife asks.
* ROM - Where the pope lives.
* SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters outa the house.
* SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear.
* SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast.
* SOFTWARE - Them dang plastik forks and knifs.
* TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker.
* SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year.
* WINDOWS - Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
Interest site; http://www.itsmypage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10748
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
Post Edited (Jan 11, 7:55am)
A:
hahahahahahha those definitions are hilarious.
88 300ZX Turbo Shiro Special (SS): K&N filter, HKS Exhaust.
God created Turbo lag so V8's could stand a chance.
A:
Yeah well, does the Soviet Union have rednecks?
Dave
12/70 240Z, L-28, flat-tops, N-42 head, N-33 intake, MSA 10-2002 cam, ZX ignition, early 5-speed, R-180,4:11 gears, 903 Blue paint.
A:
Although much of the brotherly/sisterly love has died in the midwest, much of the world finds it preferred to marry within the family, which I find a little ironic. Very few countries [excluding some European ones] find it unusual to marry a cousin. Perhaps Indiana is more cultured than we are.
19[TT]91
My TT beauty is gone.
2[00]2 Honda 954RR
Suzuki 1200 S; sportscar eater
19[I4]94 Integra GSR Sedan
Long live the Z...
aka SAHTT
A:
Yeah you know thers rednecks over there with Yorgo, they just drink vodka instead of beer........
Jimmy
83ZX Turbo
A:
just to be fair, we need stereotype dolls for all cultures (blacks, irish, jews, democrats, etc). that would be a hoot.
A:
are you guys kidding around....i thought that stuff is all true...
89' 240sx (RIP)
05' 350Z AE silverstone
A:
Hey, at least one of those describes a few members on this forum; "some is queer".
Black, bumperless, 78 Z with MSA superturbo system, K/N cone filter, ported intake, and exhaust manifolds.....15.9 @87 mph.
A:
Russian Redneck,,,
YORGO see redneck types in all over world, just add much alcohols and limit gene pools!
Maybe some of womens are rednecks, yes?
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
If any of them drive a big truck and enjoys a good two-step I'm game...
______________________________________________________________________________
77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
A:
A driving application
Redneck Driver's Application
Plez compleet this paper, best ya can.
Last name: ________________
First name:
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: [_]M [_]F [_]None
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed [_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________
Lover's Name: __________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___
Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
If you obtained a higher education what was your
major?
[_] 5th grade [_] 6th grade
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Age you started drivin ______ (If over 10 are you
are still slow lerrnin ? [_] Yes [_] No)
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom/outhouse
____ shed ____ pawnshop
Model and year of your pickup: _________ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun [_] Bassmasters
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable
How many teeth in YOUR mouth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man [_] Skoal
How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
Think I've taken that test before...
______________________________________________________________________________
77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
naviathan:
Quote:
LOL, A group of friends and I were talking about the war right after it started. (Bare in mind I'm from NC) Our concesus from the start was 5 rednecks, all the ammo and weaponry we can carry (preferably shotguns and couple 303's) and the war would be over in about a week or so depending on the number of drunken bonfire parties we have along the way.
well it sure doesn't seem that way any more, does it now?
1976 280 Z coupe (California), 4 speed... performancewise stock as far as i know except a 1" front sway bar and a ABS steering coupler. but suspension is next.... --see it
A:
???
it was over quickly. war was over in a week in iraq. russia spent 9 years trying in afghanistan and gave up but the u.s. drops them in a few weeks too. not bad for a bunch of yahoos, eh?
A:
to be sure, the US kicked some serious ass over there and continues to do so. we are killing people over there at a rate of 50 to one (wether that's good or not is another matter.......).
however, *my only point* is that is has been more difficult and costly to the US than many of us were told it would be.
http://icasualties.org/oif_a/Lunaville.htm
we now return to ...... YORGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1976 280 Z coupe (California), 4 speed... performancewise stock as far as i know except a 1" front sway bar and a ABS steering coupler. but suspension is next.... --see it
A:
???
we were told it would be difficult (though many seem to forget that). it has actually been MUCH easier than expected. the only ones killing "people over there" at a rate of 50 to 1 are suicide bombers.
as far as historic wars fought by the u.s., this has been the bigest land gain with the fewest casualties ever. well done.
A:
I don't have much of a stance on the war, but am fairly educated 'on both sides'. I just think it's funny how every damn day they find someone who has died over there to throw in our faces.
- - - NEWSFLASH - - -
If a couple people didn't die out of tens of thousands of people every day something would be wrong. We'd all go there and live forever like the invincible soldiers who never die [not even from natural causes or accidents]!
19[TT]91
My TT beauty is gone.
2[00]2 Honda 954RR
Suzuki 1200 S; sportscar eater
19[I4]94 Integra GSR Sedan
Long live the Z...
aka SAHTT
A:
Huh? So if you took 50,000 men and women from 18-50 years of age and put them in an American town, you figure there would be a couple of natural deaths per day? That doesn't make sense.... I know what you're trying to say, the number of casualties are low considering the scope of the mission, I agree. But don't forget the number of wounded, especially with all those IUD's going off.... there are a lot of soldiers coming home without limbs and severe shrapnell wounds.... it's not pretty.... as far as the reports go, if I paid the ultimate price to serve my country, I'd want everyone to know and for people to remeber me. I don't see how that is a slap in your face for those soldiers to be reported on the news. We just see a glimpse of what's happening. I don't know any one who returned from war who painted things so pretty.... but I could be wrong
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
Post Edited (Jan 11, 6:38pm)
A:
you mean 150,000+ total troops involved in the area, not 50,000.
since normal ACCIDENT rates for u.s. troops normally is 1 per day in peacetime, then yea, it's very, very, low (thank goodness!).
A:
Aha, thats some funny stuff.
1976 280Z
Draw-Through Turbo, 10 PSI, 4 Bbl Holley, E88, L28 (Flat), 10:1 CR, 5 Spd
1974 Corvette Stingray:
350, 400 Automatic, T-Tops, 8.5:1 CR, 78,000 Miles
1994 Acura Integra:
1.8L, 5 Spd, 189,000 and Counting!
A:
dont you guys listen to the president? he said that war was over a few months ago so we really arent over there fighting any more cause we know that george w. wouldnt lie right to our faces.
and YORGO very very funny but i am now beginning to doubt that you really are a russian in siberia-- i think you might just be an educated redneck from down south!!!!!
____________________________________
1980 280ZX coupe
2001 maxima
1994 F150 4x4 van works custom truck
170000 and never needed mech repairs
1996 ford explorer -they cant all be good
A:
I'll correct that date, since you probably weren't watching the news coverage of the war. Bush said the war in Iraq was a victory and over on May 2, 2003. If you need proof, here is the actual CNN article:
http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/05/01/sprj.irq.bush.speech/
He wouldn't lie, would he!? I mean, it's been over for 2.5 years according to Bush.
A:
PS - one funny from the article - "We have removed an ally of al Qaeda". Of course, it was later discovered that Saddam and Bin Laden are mortal enemies...
A:
Shock and awe, The new modern slower version of blitzkreig!
And to think on June 6 1944 150,000 men hit the beach.
'60 Chevrolet Apache 10 235cid Stovebolt 6
'79 N/A MT (My Dad's but I drive it)
'81 Turbo (Mine)
FSM: $60
Shop Manual: $20
Reading the manual: Priceless
A:
depends on what war you're talking about.
the wars in afghanistan and iraq are over.
the "war" to stop other suicide attacks (and those that finance them) is a world wide problem that will take a very, very, very long time.
A:
The "war" is over. I just returned from a year in Fallujah last August. The peace keeping effort is continuing in full force because for the most part the Iraqis like having us there and are trying to get a stable government of their own setup. It's the previous "leader groups" of Iraq that are still sending their version of the kamakzi out to try and prove they still have power. If you pay close attention the Iraqi's are killing each other now. The small factions that once had all the politcal power are randomly blowing up the larger groups that are supporting our movement and their new government. Most of the miscelaneous IED's and road side attacks are conducted by terrorist groups that have come in from other countries with asperations of killing Americans. It's an opportunity for those that have been taught how horrible America is and how killing us gaurantees them a space in their version of heaven they can't refuse. Our military is taking all the measures it can to defend against these bombs. We even have a troop transport now that can handle an IED explosion directly under it's hull with little to no damage. I've seen one that was hit three times. They put the spare tire on and kept rolling, no injuries. The media is horribly misleading when it comes to the who, what, when, where and why of these attacks. If we pull out as many have suggested the country would immediately be over run with bombing attacks and the terrorist groups take over. The people of Iraq that once supported us would turn coat because we abandoned them and we would end up with a huge gorrilla warfare terrorist country that would keep the world in hell with consistent attacks. This political game we've started playing is not as simple as we would like it to be. More people get killed in gang drive by's and random acts of violence everyday in the US then in the entire country of Iraq. Be real and get the facts before spouting, Bush lied, or any of that other dribble that I keep hearing. Support our troops and be a patriot for our country. Remember 911? No one was complaining then about sending troops over seas to get the bastards that ran planes into our homeland. The country pulled together for a huge disaster on US soil then fell apart when they realized what it would cost to keep the same thing from happening again. I personally think it's a worth while venture and I wish more countries would join in the fight because it's also their @sses on the line if we pulled out.
______________________________________________________________________________
77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
_____________________
Me YORGO...You Not
A:
it's odd that the press is now accepting that iran has a nuclear program (yet still hold the bizzare idea that iraq did not and would not have one).
the only ones continuing to "bend the truth" seems to be the press...
A:
Completely Agreed.
______________________________________________________________________________
77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
A:
yes YORGO your thread has been hijacked--hehe
____________________________________
1980 280ZX coupe
2001 maxima
1994 F150 4x4 van works custom truck
170000 and never needed mech repairs
1996 ford explorer -they cant all be good