General Chat
Q:
Did you hear about the guy in Paris who
almost got away with stealing several
paintings from the Louvre? After planning
the crime, getting in and out past security,
he was captured only two blocks away when
his SUV ran out of gas.
>
When asked how he could mastermind such
a crime and then make such an obvious error,
he replied: "Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy
Degas to make the Van Gogh!"
"YES I will finish what I sta"
.
1977 280Z blue 2+2,
1973 240z
1977 280Z coupe in restoration progress
A:
I thought that was pretty good. hehe. I laugh at everything though.
88 300ZX Turbo Shiro Special (SS): K&N filter, HKS Exhaust.
God created Turbo lag so V8's could stand a chance.
A:
My wife just said it was pitiful, but I like that joke.
Black, bumperless, 78 Z with MSA superturbo system, K/N cone filter, ported intake, and exhaust manifolds.....15.9 @87 mph.
A:
Reminds me of a story an old co-worker once told me. He sore it was true. Some kids stole the safe from a Kentucky Fried Chicken. But when they put it their Yugo the tires went flat! Can you say Busted!
-Pete
1978 Z ATK F54-P79
Drink Sobe No Fear Gold
Tokico Illuminas, Poly bushings,Techno Tuning TC rods. Bad Dog frame rails. Toyota 4 piston calipers & power slot rotors. MSA 2.5” turbo exhaust & K&N cold air intake. H4’s
A:
Oh, I see. A thread to see who can come up with the worst pun.
True story:
My friend and I were riding a mountain bike trail and I was in front. I rode down this little 2 ft drop off from a rock and kept going. My friend rode off it as well right behind me but when he landed, his bike bounced and caused his bike to veer to the left a bit too much and he would up hitting the side of his face on a tree just to the side of the trail. He fractured his eye socket and his cheek bone (he was otherwise ok, no permanent damage).
-but in light of him hitting that tree, I guess you could say that, '
He fought the log, and the log won.'!
God must love stupid people, he made SOOOOO many of them!
A:
the log always wins.
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1985 300ZX n/a
A:
A guy enters a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. He goes up to the bar and asks the bar tender for a beer. While he enjoys his brew the monkey runs around the bar tearing things apart. The bartender politely asks the guy if he can calm his monkey. The guy politely replies, "I'm sorry, he's a little wound up, but I'll pay for any damages he causes." As the guy finishes up his beer the monkey picks up a cue ball off one of the pool tables and swallows it. Agast the bartender exclaims, "Did you see what your monkey just did! He ate a cue ball!" Calmly the guy turns, looks at the bartender and says, "yeah he'll eat just about anything." He then gets up, pays for his beer an throws down more than enough extra for the damages the monkey caused, took the monkey and left.
A week later the guy returns to the bar with the same monkey, orders his beer and again the monkey runs amok. This time the monkey is taking peanuts, olives, cherries and anything else edible he can find. First he shoves the item up his butt, pulls it out then eats it. Disgusted the bartender says, "do you see what your monkey is doing now? He keeps shoving things up his butt then he pulls it out and eats it!" Quietly the guy looks at the bartender and says, "Yes, well, after passing that cue ball he measures everything first."
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77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
Post Edited (Dec 15, 11:08am)
A:
A monkey joke is always tough to follow, but...
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender goes "get out of here string, we dont serve your kind!"
The piece of string is dejected and really wants a beer, so he walks up to the corner and starts playing with his head and pulling it apart and looping it around and back through.
The piece of string walks back into the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender goes"hey, arent you that piece of string I just threw out of here?"
The piece of srting replies "Nope, Im a frayed knot".
Sorry in advance.
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1978 280Z - I wish I had this much money in my 401K.
A:
A guy goes on a business trip to Southern Florida for three days. Before leaving he made plans for his wife to join him the day after his arrival. Upon arrival he realizes he forgot his address book with all his phone numbers and email addresses. Wanting to send his wife an email he tries to pull it from memory and types out a quick message.
That same day someplace in michigan, an elderly woman returns from her husbands funeral. She sits down at her computer to check her email and begins screaming then faints. Her family curious as to what was going on read the email...
"My dearest,
I just got checked in. I've made preperations for your arrival tomorrow.
Love,
Your Husband
P.S. It sure is hot down here!"
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77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
Post Edited (Dec 15, 11:36am)
A:
I thought there were moderator here to protect us.
Bubbles got banned for less groan factor than this.
Ed and Jeanne's
ZXelda 1981 280 ZXT: ZXena 1990 300 ZX
1941 Buick Special Sedanette (Betty)
1956 Dodge Royal (Dorothy)
1971 Buick Riviera (Rita)
1975 Ford F-150 Stepside (Fiona)
1992 Firebird (Frieda)
A:
That last one was pretty funny Naviathan
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1985 300ZX n/a
A:
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck...
The bartender says "OK. You can come in here, just don't start anything!"
A horse walks into a bar...
The bartender says "Hey... why the long face?"
A grasshopper walks into a bar...
The bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Stan?"
Lead, Follow, or get out of the way!
A:
Quote:
"Author: erzelda
Date: Dec 15, 6:30pm
I thought there were moderator here to protect us.
Bubbles got banned for less groan factor than this.
"
Now that was little harsh, I didn't think my jokes were that bad. Comparison to Bubbles is like a social atomic bomb.
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77 280Z - TEC3 Engine Management, Coil Packs, 3.1 Stroker, 550CC injectors, tripple throttle body FI intake, MSA Stage II Cam, etc...etc...
79 Fairlady - Rusty
81 280ZX - DD
A:
hahahah I love the jumper cables one.
88 300ZX Turbo Shiro Special (SS): K&N filter, HKS Exhaust.
God created Turbo lag so V8's could stand a chance.
A:
naviathn - nothing personal to you, it was more to blue 2+2's joke:
blue 2+2 - it was imaginative but still a large groas factor.
to all - well who doesn't bring up Bubbles now and then: I always saidif you get rid of him we'd only have eachother to pick on.
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar -
It could happen -
couldn't it?
Ed and Jeanne's
ZXelda 1981 280 ZXT: ZXena 1990 300 ZX
1941 Buick Special Sedanette (Betty)
1956 Dodge Royal (Dorothy)
1971 Buick Riviera (Rita)
1975 Ford F-150 Stepside (Fiona)
1992 Firebird (Frieda)